


Turnabout and Piss Licking

by tsar_saltans_swan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux is Not Nice, Budget Arguments, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Licking, M/M, Nearly Almost Sex but Not Quite, Nose Kink Lite, Omorashi, Piss, Piss kink, Piss licking, Snoke is alive, Watersports, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24254470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsar_saltans_swan/pseuds/tsar_saltans_swan
Summary: An argument over funding turns into an accident and something much, much stranger.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Turnabout and Piss Licking

**Author's Note:**

> I first started this as a drabble on the KNK Discord, but I felt like it was much more at home here. Hope you enjoy.

“As of this moment, the quarterly budget meeting is adjourned,” Hux announces to the boardroom. “Let the record show that the percentages of last quarter are to remain intact, and a sizable package will be taken out of Weaponry funds this quarter to upgrade one of the older programs; which one in particular has not been decided at this time due to intercommand discord.”

“Very good. I do hope you choose wisely,” says Snoke, whose face appears in a giant hologram.

“All rise,” says Hux, trying to keep his voice commanding. The various officers, most of them old Imperials, swiftly rise from their seats in a graceful, choreographed motion that’s surprising for their age.

“You may depart.”

In the same sort of uniform motion, they walk out of the boardroom, the sound of their boots in near perfect sync with each other. Only one stays behind. Kylo Ren is slumped over on the table, looking at him with disdain and pouting like a child.

“Ahem. You may depart.”

Silence. Kylo sits up a bit, then narrows his eyes further and furrows his brow in displeasure.

“You can leave now, dumbass.”

Kylo leans back in his seat and kicks his dirty boots up onto the boardroom table. “I’d leave, but there’s something I’d like to... discuss.”

“Then come out in the hallway. I’m not talking to a pair of dirty boots.”

Kylo groans as he rises from his seat and sulks as he leaves the boardroom, making his feet stomp unnecessarily as he walks into the hallway. Hux meets him there, looking disheveled and pissed off.

“I assume this is about the funding package?” he hisses, hoping Kylo will back down just from that, but knowing deep down that he’ll be as stubborn as ever.

"Why wouldn’t it be? I’ve been trying to get more funding for the Knights for years now, but no, you’ve gotta build some big base or some big cannon somewhere, as if a glorified blanket fort is going to help us at all.”

“Why should I divert the funding to you and the Knights? They barely serve the Order; in fact, all of you are nothing more than children in masks playing dress-up.”

At the very end of that sentence, a fire lights in Kylo’s eyes. He snarls as he grips Hux's pale, almost translucent neck with the force and lifts him up. Hux kicks and fights at first, then goes limp like a ragdoll. suddenly, Kylo's ears perk up. A sort of trickling noise, almost like someone slowly pouring water on the poured concrete, echoes through the empty hall. He tips his head down quickly, and his eyes are quickly drawn to a puddle on the floor. He takes a small, barely audible sniff of the air; there's a faint uric scent, like that of a urinal trough. He looks back up at Hux; he has fear in his eyes and his face is a bright scarlet. Did he just piss in the hallway? All signs point to yes, he replied to himself, but maybe it would be better to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

Kylo loosens his grip on Hux's neck and lets him down, but quickly pins him to the wall. He stares daggers at the yappy little copperhead, asking about the puddle not with his mouth, but with his eyes. A quick, shallow mind probe reveals loud, jagged, yellow words with the same uric qualities as the liquid spreading on the floor. "Oh gods, oh gods," Hux is frantically thinking. "I just pissed myself, what now?"

"Hm. an accident," Kylo snarls in Hux's direction. "How embarassing."

Hux opens his mouth to retort but not a sound escapes before Kylo returns to his speech. "What's more embarassing is the irony. You call us nothing more than schoolyard boys playing cops and robbers, but somehow, you never learned to control your bladder enough to not make a mess on the floor when an authority figure speaks to you."

"Of course you can control yours," Hux growls back, though with the very slightest of unsure stutters. "But the only thing worse is having such a limp dick that you can't even aim with both hands and the force helping you. I saw what you did at the urinal yesterday, I'm not blind."

"At least i made it. You on the other hand..." His eyes motion down to the puddle of piss on the floor, then return quickly to staring at Hux. He's gone even redder now. a quick, self soothing bite of his lip leaves a barely visible trail of saliva that glistens in the fluorescent light.

Kylo pauses, then lets out a small, pensive hum. "Now, how are we going to clean this up...?"

Hux licks his lips, perhaps involuntarily. Kylo has an idea.

"Lick it clean."

Hux flinches a bit, then smirks as he hoods his eyes. "Mind explaining what you mean, Lord Ren, since I'm so stupid?" He hisses, every word fat with condesencion.

"It's a bodily fluid, right? So it would only be right for it to go back into the body from which it came. I'll say it again. Lick. It. Clean."

Hux lets loose a small, tight lipped chuckle. "You know me too well, Commander."

He leans down to the floor on all fours and begins to lap at it like a kitten drinking milk. He licks it slowly, seductively, all while looking Kylo in the eyes. Not only that, but there's a noticable tenting in the inseam of his jodhpurs. Kylo, heir to the dark side and master of the Knights of Ren, has fallen right into Hux's trap.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Hux purrs, luring him deeper into his web. "Come and help me big boy. Your clever tongue would be helpful here."

"Why should I? You made this mess yourself."

"By my logic, you're partially responsible. You choked me, which made me make this mess. It would only be fair."

Kylo stays silent. His logic did work out once he thought about it. Though Hux was the one who dissented, and the entire point of making him lick his own piss off the floor was to show him who was boss, the whole thing was (and continues to be) an exercise in futility. Kylo had made a fool of himself in front of Hux's men many a time; Hux barely had to lift a finger to continue the narrative of him being nothing more than a whiny, overgrown teenager, barely strong enough in the force to lift a decently sized river rock, who, by way of nepotism, was absentmindedly given a lightsaber and an empire. Kylo had always thought that the best way to remind him who the alpha dog is was to make an example of him, to embarrass, to humiliate. but Hux's thinking was one step ahead. Turnabout is the name of the game. The alpha dog, even if a sparrow sitting on his back could snap his spine like a twig, must turn the tables on his challengers. He must feign submission, spin a web the weak-minded will easily fall into, then reverse the balance of power, all without any eyes watching. Less information means rumors, after all. of course, Kylo hasn't learned this yet. But he will in good time. It might take a bit of piss licking to do it, but he will.

Suddenly, Kylo makes a move. He kneels down on both knees and steadies his hands on the poured concrete, bowing his arms out like a crocodile. he lowers his head closer to the puddle, as if he were going to drink from it. but Kylo won't give in to Hux's demands too soon. He'll tease him, play the long game. he eyes it carefully, going between staring at it intently and looking back up at Hux, hooding his sad brown eyes further and batting his lashes like a coy schoolgirl. Hux seems... somewhat unaffected, but the tent in his jodhpurs has risen just a bit from what he can see. Then, when he's had enough of looking at the thing, he sniffs at it like a curious dog, making sure his sniffs are not just audible, but _loud_ , and his nostrils are flaring as far as they'll go. Another look up at Hux returns a bit more scarlet in his face and a self-soothing bite of the lips. 

Now's the time to pounce, but he won't go all in just yet. He barely sticks the tip of his tongue out between his lips. Then, he takes a few small licks, not moving his head but still moving the tip of his tongue as much as he can across the surface of the puddle, barely breaking the surface tension of the watery substance. There's a bit more red in Hux's face now. The tension is mounting and Hux is ready to release it.

Now, after all this teasing, comes the pièce de résistance. Kylo parts his supple, pink lips and opens his mouth, letting his tongue extend out of it. he licks large swaths of the uric puddle, letting out a soft moan with every completed pass.

He looks up one last time to see Hux absolutely ready to explode. It’s time to unleash the killing blow.

Kylo sits up, then grabs Hux and begins kissing him furiously. Hux can taste his own piss in Kylo's mouth. Their mouths are open, their arms are on each other, their hands anchoring on each others' shoulders, trying desperately to grip. To the outside observer, Hux thinks, this is about as sexy as an anaconda breeding ball, but to him (possibly Kylo as well), this is as hot as it gets. It is a second yet an eternity, it is everywhere and nowhere at once. This is the precipice and Hux, ever the forward thinker, wants to go higher and higher still. This game of chess is not over.

Hux stops. "Come, _a mhuirnín_ ," he purrs. He knows Kylo loves it when he speaks Arkanid. "We can finish this in my quarters."

"And the puddle?" Kylo asks.

"The mouse droid is much more adept to deal with that. We have bigger things to accomplish today."


End file.
